Pain of Parent's Divorce Doesn't Go Away Quickly

I am asked: "I have an eleven-year-old grandson who is never in trouble at school, but always seems to be in trouble at home. He's been in and out of therapy for years, ever since his father left when he was six years old. He has temper tantrums and always feels deprived. After he gets in trouble he is always remorseful, and I've even heard him talk about hurting himself. I'm thinking he is depressed. What is your opinion of using Prozac for this?"

When behavior symptoms occur at home and not at school, then it always makes me suspicious of a family conflict rather than a psychiatric disorder.

In addition, I believe that a parental split always has a tremendous and persistent emotional impact on children. That impact can show in many ways, but a behavior problem is a common one.

However, there is also little doubt that parental separation can trigger depression in children, and behavior problems can be a symptom of depression, as well.

So I certainly encourage an evaluation to make sure that your grandson is not suffering from a severe depression. If he is, then Prozac is the one antidepressant that has been shown to be effective in treating childhood depression.

However, keep in mind that a pill cannot make the hurt and pain of a loss go away, no matter how long ago that loss occurred. And a pill can't fix a family conflict. That's why I suspect that the child psychiatrist who evaluates your grandson might recommend some therapy again -- especially family therapy, since the problems are happening at home but not at school.